You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
