I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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