Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
