Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize