my vag is so smooth its legendary
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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