btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize