where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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