If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
