Your mouth is God's brothel.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Randomize
