I want to make a zoo with you.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Randomize
