Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I smell like Dick and happiness
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
