he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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