I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
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