I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
