Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
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