Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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