Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
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