So drunk, too bad you don't want this
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Randomize
