I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
