Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Randomize
