You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
