Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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