Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize