Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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