I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
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