she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
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The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
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DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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