Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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