When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
