Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
