is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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