im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
