Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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