I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
