shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
