Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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