Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
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