Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
