my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Welp...herpes.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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