my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
How drunk are you?
Completed.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
