But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
