she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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