Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Randomize
