You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
