I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
