remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Randomize
