But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Randomize