hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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