i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize
