why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
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