Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
