Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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