he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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