bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
