i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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