can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
