i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
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