Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I forget how to act sober
Randomize