How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
