Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
it was like eating out sand paper
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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