I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
