I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
