Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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