I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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