yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
