david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
