is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Randomize
