I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
